Meeeeeeeeeeeep.
I swear every post starts with me apologising about how I haven't written in ages but things have been busy!! Since I last wrote, I quit my job and moved to London for University, BIG TIMES!!
Its been almost a month now and I've wanted to write for a while but didn't want to add any pressure to myself or summarise anything as Freshers is an extremely important time to settle in and literally start a whole new life. It's weird.. I can pretty honestly say that I feel very settled in my life up here now but am absolutely sure that this is just the tip of the iceberg.
I know a few people who have already gone home a few times (from home and from London) but I almost felt kinda guilty that I have absolutely no desire to do so. I mean, it does sound kinda harsh but my mentality for myself at least is that if you go home before you fully settle yourself in the place you're now living, you'll only end up unsettling yourself and leave feeling even more homesick. I dunno. I always got extremely homesick as a child and I can't pretend that I don't miss my Mum, Dad, friends and my especially my Cat(!!) but there has to be a time where you move on and there has to be a definite end. I'm not saying an end as in I'm never going home, but an end of the old and the beginning of your new life.
Its almost 2am and I have suddenly become very nocturnal, even though I have a lecture in under 8 hours :(((( but I did realise I felt ever so slightly homesick. Granted it literally was the teeniest tiniest bit but I remembered a memory stick I have. For Christmas two years ago my brother made me & my mum a half an hour film of our last Christmas as a family all together before everyone buggered off to different parts of the world and I just sat in my kitchen and watched it. It honestly made me so happy and I think I realised why I'm so okay with this whole move.
Sometimes you subconsciously say goodbye to something before you physically say it, like I now believe that I'm not so homesick, because home for me is with all my absolutely mad as hatters family and when we are all together.. no matter where that be.. it feels like home. So to not be with them is just the start of your own very exciting and amazing story with them as your constant support and happy place.
Either way, life stays still for no one and it would be an extremely boring thing if it did, so onwards and upwards! I'm trying to do one thing every day that scares me, getting a tube at rush hour is a bloody good place to start *insert panic attack!* but what I guess I'm really trying to say is now is the time to start living (alright lydia, sounding like an absolute gandhi wannabe) and making the most of every opportunity given to you.
Well, its lucky I warned everyone how much I ramble in the title. But if you've just started uni or even if you're just starting to live outside of your comfort zone, let me know!
ELLE X
